teej
26-11-13, 08:45
Well I'm into my fourth week of citalopram 20mg - just finished week 3 yesterday.
Last week Monday to Friday morning I had a wonderful week of feeling great - even to the point I was looking at the steps reduce or come off the medicine.
Then Friday night I had a "blip". I'd been starting to move my dose forwards as I'd been waking up early and not feeling great - I was taking the cit at 9pm - so trying to move the dose to the morning. By Sunday I felt terrible still so simply decided to have my 20mg at 9am instead, so I effectively had 40mg within a 24 hour period figuring I couldn't feel any worse. Haha.
Well by Monday morning I felt practically suicidal - sheer terror and dark thoughts racing through my mind when I awoke. I managed to find a sympathetic doctor to cry on. He suggested splitting the 20mg dose over the day - so 10mg in the morning, 10mg in the evening and I've been put back on the Librium to try and ease some of the side effects. I managed to get through the day but couldn't make it into work.
The Librium dose is so low it's barely taken the edge off the symptoms so I'm hoping that'll build up over the next week a bit. I've managed to get into work this morning though so I guess that's some kind of improvement.
I'm just gutted that after 5 days of bliss I've come back to feeling like I'm starting all over again and now I'm just worrying these side effects will never ever go and that 5 days of bliss was just a coincidence.
I'm supposed to be going on holiday in 2 weeks and if I feel this horrendous I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Anybody... am I going crazy? Is there any light at the end of this tunnel? I'm just *really* hoping this is self-inflicted by screwing up the dose and that'll I'll settle back down again. :weep: I just want to hide in bed right now.
Last week Monday to Friday morning I had a wonderful week of feeling great - even to the point I was looking at the steps reduce or come off the medicine.
Then Friday night I had a "blip". I'd been starting to move my dose forwards as I'd been waking up early and not feeling great - I was taking the cit at 9pm - so trying to move the dose to the morning. By Sunday I felt terrible still so simply decided to have my 20mg at 9am instead, so I effectively had 40mg within a 24 hour period figuring I couldn't feel any worse. Haha.
Well by Monday morning I felt practically suicidal - sheer terror and dark thoughts racing through my mind when I awoke. I managed to find a sympathetic doctor to cry on. He suggested splitting the 20mg dose over the day - so 10mg in the morning, 10mg in the evening and I've been put back on the Librium to try and ease some of the side effects. I managed to get through the day but couldn't make it into work.
The Librium dose is so low it's barely taken the edge off the symptoms so I'm hoping that'll build up over the next week a bit. I've managed to get into work this morning though so I guess that's some kind of improvement.
I'm just gutted that after 5 days of bliss I've come back to feeling like I'm starting all over again and now I'm just worrying these side effects will never ever go and that 5 days of bliss was just a coincidence.
I'm supposed to be going on holiday in 2 weeks and if I feel this horrendous I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Anybody... am I going crazy? Is there any light at the end of this tunnel? I'm just *really* hoping this is self-inflicted by screwing up the dose and that'll I'll settle back down again. :weep: I just want to hide in bed right now.