Had a complete relapse, sat here in tears

[ReissG]

It seems so long, nearly 5 weeks ago was the last time I really had this much panic going on, I'm devastated.

Okay so let me explain my issues and maybe you guys can work your support wand and help me out a little.

1. 2 months ago I had a purplish lump on my leg, the size of an eraser on a pencil. I managed to pop it and out came like just blood, it was weird, but it must have been like a blood spot or boil. I left it alone and after a few days the soreness went away and what was left was this red/purple little dot which was surrounded by like red. If I pressed onit the red would blanch but the dot would not. So yesterday i decided to google it after 2 months and I didn't find much until I saw that sometimes melanoma can sometimes be mistaken for a boil that won't heal, so that's my first terror attack

2. Even after getting a blood test and my Dr saying im 100% fine, the petechiae I constantly get from heat and clothes on my waist causes me constant terror, it went away for a few days and then today 6 appeared and it just knocked me again.

3. I have a very painful hard lymph node under my jaw at the moment. Just above it is a painful ulcer inside my lip which I got from stabbing myself with my tooth a few days ago lol and everytime I get an ulcer (canker sore) like this it seems to make the same lymph node get painful. I don't think it's swollen, just very sore, but it's still panicked me.

4. And now finally the thing that made me want to come on here and seek reassurance is that I decided to feel (I don't know why) around my collar bone and bottom of my neck for lymph nodes and what do I find? yes, you guessed it. I found 3 to be exact, 1 of them is so small it's laughable and the other 2 just feel like grains of rice, all 3 move and all 3 are very very soft. I only panicked because I know the things people say on google that collarbone lymph nodes are a big sign for lymphoma and now I'm just terrified.

I've also been having little symptoms like loose stools, belly aches, a cough that seems to be brought on by psychological thinking and a runny nose very occasionally (allergies I think)

So at the moment I think I have Leukemia, Oral cancer, Melanoma and lymphoma.

I'm going absolutely insane, I just can't calm down :(

Please, help me lol!:blush::unsure:

[ReissG]

Please anyone? :(

[bibliophilic]

I have lumps on my collarbone--doc felt them and said no problem. I also have other "bad" symptoms like trouble swallowing, lump in throat feeling, high cortisol, dizziness..for me at least, I think the collarbone lumps are muscles and veins.

If you had any kind of lymphoma etc, blood tests would have spotted something fishy. I'm 99.999999% sure you don't have anything like that! You could always go back in to your doc about the lymph nodes and see what he/she says. If it's any consolation, I've had swollen lymph nodes during/after panic attacks before. :hugs:

[GoogleNoMore]

Hi,

I'm sorry I have no advice about the lymph nodes, but it did strike me that you wrote about blood tests and the doctor saying you were 100% fine. Of course, I don't know what tests were done, but blood tests are good at picking up something, so if the doctor says you are fine, it might help you to focus a little more on that positive. :)

As far as the canker sore, I do know from experience that sores in my mouth take longer to heal (I am assuming it's in your mouth?) As a doctor explained to me, it's because a) it's a moist environment and b) we usually keep poking at it... Something that may help (or at the very least, it won't hurt) is to rinse out your mouth with a salt water solution a few times a day.

I know for myself I tend to sweat a little more when I am stressed (like a cold, clammy feeling.) Is it possible that you are sweating more, and that could be what's aggravating the petechiae?

The other "little symptoms" you mentioned also sound a lot like anxiety symptoms.

It's amazing the power our minds have over our bodies, isn't it? Like my mother always says to me: if you could harness that energy for good, you'd be unstoppable!

[ReissG]

I just went to the bathroom to clean my teeth and my gums have started bleeding, quite heavily :( they stopped once I stop brushing, but I know this is another symptom of Leukaemia and my anxiety just hit the roof.

To be fair, because my depression has been absolutely awful, I haven't showered or cleaned my teeth in like 4 days, gross I know but I just haven't had the energy to do either =/

[Stormsky]

Believing you have all these conditions will cause all sorts of turmoil and symptoms in our body...let alone the anxiety it's causing..
Mind and body are so closely linked, for example, I can feel fine but if I tell myself I feel sick over and over again, I actually start to feel sick... So telling yourself you have cancer ,it won't give you cancer, but it will conflict with your body, and it's response to your thoughts will give physical symptoms ..
We have to trust the docs and tests done., although I know it's easier said than done.