loopylu86
24-09-12, 16:56
So I had a good nights sleep last night and woke today feeling fine. I got up and dressed as usual and decided that I was oing to be brave and drive into the nearest city and do some shopping. Nothing specific I needed but just anything to occupy myself and get out of the house. Well I was fine in the car but felt really disconnected from everything. I didn't feel particularly anxious but the DP is so severe and strong that it is pretty much impossible to ignore and distract from it. As long as I am not highly anxious I kind of accept it when it happens. There was then a point as I was nearer my shopping destination (blockbuster for more dvds-all I seem to do these days) that I just wanted to get in and out and home again. I could feel the anxiety building...all due to how increasingly distant I was feeling. I still went in the shop and was there for about half an hour...due to the new boy not being able to find my dvds in the drawers. I felt like running out the entire time. The floor was moving and my body was not my own. I finally got what I was after and drove straight home and was exhausted by the whole thing. I didn't have a full on panic attack but was in that high state of....It could happen at any moment the entire time I was there. I have been sleeping the last two hours because I am just SO fed up of this! A friend suggested that maybe I pushed myself too far...but how can this be? There was no pressure in the situation. I wanted to shop. I wasn't even worried about the geography. Just the DP itself is what made this trip impossible. I felt like I had been drugged the entire time. This feels like a real set back for me. I want to be back in work this time next week. I just can't see it happening.