Anxious about turning 30

[Sparkle1984]

I know this may sound silly, but one of my current worries is about turning 30 years old (which will happen in 18 months). I think this is all linked in with my fear about getting older and eventually dying!

Emotionally, I still feel as if I'm in my early 20s. I don't think I can conform to society's expectations of a typical 30 year old. I am still single and live at home, and to be honest, I'm happy that way. I don't want the responsibility of a relationship, a household or children etc. Several of my friends are the same though.

Sometimes the fear gets to me when I wake up in the morning - I think "Oh my goodness I'm going to be 30 in a few months' time!" It seems so old in comparison to being in your 20s. Then I worry that once I'm 30, it'll be only 10 more years until I'm 40, and that's even scarier, as it's pretty much middle-age.

Can anyone offer me any reassurance (particularly if you've already reached this age threshold)?

[marcusmaximus]

Hi man forget about the number it's all about feeling you said it yourself
'' I'm happy that way''
It's societys few you are worried about, don't be do what makes you happy. I know that is easy to say but man your still young you have and can do what you want

[flossie]

Are you kidding? Your 30s are a load more fun than being in your 20s and just wait 'til you get to your 40s:yesyes:
Stop fretting about something that you cannot change. None of us can change our age but we can change the way we think about it. You can make your own life a misery by moping about it or embrace being 30 and enjoy every minute.
I'm in my 50s now, practically one foot in my coffin you no doubt think. But hey, I still haven't hit my prime yet. There's still lots of life in this old girl and I ain't ready to start worrying about old age for years yet. I'm planning on being a complete disgrace once I hit 70.:D

[kittikat]

Are you kidding? Your 30s are a load more fun than being in your 20s and just wait 'til you get to your 40s:yesyes:
Stop fretting about something that you cannot change. None of us can change our age but we can change the way we think about it. You can make your own life a misery by moping about it or embrace being 30 and enjoy every minute.
I'm in my 50s now, practically one foot in my coffin you no doubt think. But hey, I still haven't hit my prime yet. There's still lots of life in this old girl and I ain't ready to start worrying about old age for years yet. I'm planning on being a complete disgrace once I hit 70.:D

Great post flossie, what a positive outlook you have on life, you go girl :yesyes: Lets hope we can all take a leaf out of your book!!

[miraiiro]

I turned 30 earlier this year and spent a lot of time worrying about it, but then I was like, "well, whatever" because it's not really that old at all when you think about it. You also shouldn't concern yourself with society's expectations that everyone our age must already be married with a decent job, a mortgage and kids, etc. Loads more people are continuing to live with their parents until later in life. Times have changed! It's not like the days when you used to get kicked out as soon as you finished school. Jobs are harder to find, essentials like food and utility bills are getting more and more expensive, so as long as your parents are okay with you not wanting to move out anytime soon, there shouldn't be a problem. To be honest, I don't feel any different now than I did when I was in my twenties. I may have been healthier, both physically and mentally, not to mention a bit slimmer (sob), but it's not like you suddenly change into a completely different person once you hit the big 30. It'll be okay! Honestly!:)

[Smallie]

I will be 30 later next year and feel qute anxious about it too. I also feel (and look) young for my age.
I'd say i also feel a bit sad that i'm getting older and didn't really enjoy my younger years much (teens, early 20's) due to being very shy and socially anxious. So i'd like to stay young.

And i also feel anxious that i may not even celebrate my 30th birthday and it may just come and go.

[Sparkle1984]

I turned 30 earlier this year and spent a lot of time worrying about it, but then I was like, "well, whatever" because it's not really that old at all when you think about it. You also shouldn't concern yourself with society's expectations that everyone our age must already be married with a decent job, a mortgage and kids, etc. Loads more people are continuing to live with their parents until later in life. Times have changed! It's not like the days when you used to get kicked out as soon as you finished school. Jobs are harder to find, essentials like food and utility bills are getting more and more expensive, so as long as your parents are okay with you not wanting to move out anytime soon, there shouldn't be a problem. To be honest, I don't feel any different now than I did when I was in my twenties. I may have been healthier, both physically and mentally, not to mention a bit slimmer (sob), but it's not like you suddenly change into a completely different person once you hit the big 30. It'll be okay! Honestly!:)

That's a good post and it's made me feel a bit better. :) One of my problems is that I worry too much about what other people think of me.

[honeyp1e]

i always think nothing we can do about aging so we have to just deal with it (easier said than done ) i turned 30 yesterday and i was happy haha ( i must be the only person) but i just take it as another day xx

[flossie]

One of my problems is that I worry too much about what other people think of me.

Stop worrying about what other people are thinking of you. To be honest most are so wrapped up in their own lives and struggling to get through that what you do is of little concern to them. If they do concentrate more on you than themselves then that only serves to show what sad lives they live. Then you can take comfort in knowing that they think you exciting enough to focus on. Let them think what they like anyway, it is of little consequence. They can only hurt you if you let them.
We all have choices to make, do what we need to survive and make our lives happy for ourselves. Nobody has the right to judge you in the same way as you wouldn't judge others choices. There is only one person in life we can rely on to make us happy and that is ourself. It isn't anyone elses responsibility, only our own. If it makes you happy, as long as it's legal and isn't detrimental to anyone else, then you go do it.
Your way isn't right nor wrong, their choice isn't right nor wrong, just different.
This is something else that comes with getting older, becoming more comfortable with your own choices and being happy to say s*d everyone else, I'm doing it!
So go and do whatever makes you happy and forget everyone else.

[Sparkle1984]

Stop worrying about what other people are thinking of you. To be honest most are so wrapped up in their own lives and struggling to get through that what you do is of little concern to them. If they do concentrate more on you than themselves then that only serves to show what sad lives they live. Then you can take comfort in knowing that they think you exciting enough to focus on. Let them think what they like anyway, it is of little consequence. They can only hurt you if you let them.
We all have choices to make, do what we need to survive and make our lives happy for ourselves. Nobody has the right to judge you in the same way as you wouldn't judge others choices. There is only one person in life we can rely on to make us happy and that is ourself. It isn't anyone elses responsibility, only our own. If it makes you happy, as long as it's legal and isn't detrimental to anyone else, then you go do it.
Your way isn't right nor wrong, their choice isn't right nor wrong, just different.
This is something else that comes with getting older, becoming more comfortable with your own choices and being happy to say s*d everyone else, I'm doing it!
So go and do whatever makes you happy and forget everyone else.

That's a very good point. I don't judge other people for how they live, but for some reason I suspect others do. For example, sometimes in the past I've felt ashamed to tell others that I still live at home, but most of the time the other person says "Oh that's cool, it means you don't have the expense of paying bills or having to keep up with a mortgage!". It's only in a few cases that a person has questioned me about it - for example someone once said "Do you mind living with your parents at your age?" I actually don't mind at all, I'm happy with them and they're happy to still have me here! In fact I'd be lonely if I lived on my own, and my parents would miss me too as I'm the only child who is still at home.

[flossie]

Neither my sister nor myself left home. We still live together now my parents are no longer with us. It works for us and to be honest neither of us could afford to have our own place. Your situation is far from uncommon and no-one has the right to criticise you.
Just remember that someone may not agree or understand a choice you make but they should respect you and your decision.

edited to add: I'm not sure I've worded my reply correctly when I say your situation is far from uncommon. My brain is ready for bed and I'm not thinking straight.
Many young adults live with their parents is what I'm trying to say. lol

[london]

age is in your head and heart not years
god bless

[Littlehelper123]

I'm terrified of turning 18 next month =( I'm terrified of being able to say that as from january i can say i am 20 next year....i'm scared !

[electrical_stormgirl]

30s rock! I don't look at it as getting older but gaining wisdom and experience! Well, experience anyway ;) Life is precious, I'm grateful I've been allowed 37 years on the planet- it's all good. Age really is just a number- in my mind I am still my 17 year old self :shades:

[loopylu86]

I felt like that turning 25 and then turned 26 in June. But now I look at women in their 30's and 40's and they seem to much more grounded,happier and attractive. 30's/40's and even 50's and beyond women reach their prime. I don't think we do in 20's and I don't think if you were to ask a woman of 80 what decade she would like to return to. I bet it wouldn't be 20's. I know a girl who passed away at 20. I'm sure she would love to be here and be 30. So when I used to have these thoughts I would alwasy think of her. Getting to grow older is a blessing. Plus 30 is really young!! lol

Additional to that..I don't have kids either and do not want them until I am in my mid 30's. I get told on a regular basis in work "wow I can't BELIEVE that you're 26-It's just not what I imagine 26 to be like" I am not childish and can be mature when I need to be but I always wonder what they expect 26 to be like? I see people my age run down with eye bags nd 5 kids and that is not what I want. Not yet anyway. Plenty more holidays and fun/selfishness left in me first lol

[teez]

havnt you heard age is just a number ,,im turning fifty next year,,this really doesnt bother me at all inside im still a dappy teenager will never grow up me,,love my games consoles and gadgets ,,i have days yes where i feel my age physically but thats to be expected ,,your going to be thirty an amazing age stop looking at the number hunny after all its just another year ,,day month in a very long line of ,,did you worry about being 29 nahhhh just have a great day for your birthday and celebrate the fact youve had thirty years let the rest take care of them selves,,that glass is still half full and if you refill its very full rofl