phasing a friend out..

[br19893]

I have been best friends with a girl for about 5 years, I was very close with her and her family, her mum used to call me her long lost daughter. As we'v grown up (shes 19 I'm 18) I've realised that we've grown into completely different people. She's always been spoilt, her uncle bought her a car and paid for all of her driving lessons, however she never used to act spoilt and was very down to earth. I'm the opposite of her, my parents have never given me money but it never came between us before.
A few years ago she did an apprenticeship while I was at sixth form, afterwards she got a job that pays very well meanwhile I'm still in education and have only got time for a minimum wage part time job.
This is when she started to change, always going on about how much money she has and saying how good her life is. She also only gets with guys who have a lot of money and will spoil her. Whereas I started to suffer from anxiety and didn't want to get a new job because of it. She'd call me lazy and always look down on me, not to mention that when o tried to tell her I had anxiety she completely ignored me!
She would put me down in front of others insultiong my hair, makeup, what I was wearing! Eventually I couldn't take anymore of her self involvement and constant insults so I just stopped talking to her. She spent a lot of time with her boyfriend anyway so t first she didn't try to talk to me for a few weeks. But then she texted me asking how I was as if nothing was wrong. I text back and we had a bit of a catch up, but that was it. Except on saturday night it was my friends birthday and we all went out, i got a text from her yesterday saying that she saw the pictures on Facebook and would like an invite next time because she misses everyone.
Now I definatley don't want her to feel like she has no friends and u still care about hee but I don't want to get close again. I know iv handled this wrong and I should of told get straight away how I feel, but I hate confrontation! How do I go about handling this from here without seeming childish about it?
Has anyone else ever felt it was the right time to phase out a friendship? Am I a bad person for doing it?
Thanks in advance for your replies :)

[paula lynne]

It sounds like youve grown apart. To be honest, any "friend" of mine who looked down on me and made me feel self-concious, called me a liar and insulted me in front of others, ignored the fact I suffered from anxiety, wouldnt be deserving of my time.

She sounds like what my gran used to call "fair weather" friend, she dropped you like a hot potoato when the boyfriend came along, and now seeing you on FB enjoying a night out has rekindled her interest in you and what shes missing out on. In all honesty, why would you even want to be around a person who treats you so badly? Stop worrying about it, see her now and again, and enjoy the friends who treat you with love and care.

Friends come and go into and out of our lives as we grow. Its no bad thing. Some are meant to be around for a little while, other friendships last a lifetime. You need to be around people who make you feel good about yourself, not put you down and treat you badly. You havent got to put up with it. Dont feel bad, you two are obviously moving in different directions and thats ok. You arent a bad person. x

[mollymalloy]

I am like you in the same way not liking confrontation. If you get the chance to sit and talk openly with her, chose your words wisely but be clear in what you want her to understand about how you are feeling, how you two have grown apart over the last few years and how her negative coments about you hurt you deeply. If this is all done graciouly she might see the wrong in how she has dealt with you and it might rekindle that friendship or you both agree to go seperate way.
Hoping for a good outcome!

[br19893]

Thanks so much for your advice guys, made me feel much better :) I guess people do fire apart as they grow up and find out who they are. Id be a worse person if I carried on being two faced and acting like everything was alright!
X

[evil monkey]

This is slightly different...but I had a "best mate", did more or less everything. was at his wedding, went on holidays. I had anxiety but didnt know it was anxiety. I have a feeling he kept me around as his "other crazy mate" and wingman (not a lot of fun when your wingman is flying all the planes). he never asked why i didnt want to join him on nights out. it was "are you coming". i wouldnt call him a fair weather friend, but maybe dealing with my jumpyness (didnt know anxiety existed at the time so it was just jumpyness) was 9/10 on his scale, and he was only going to bother with 8/10. he isnt part of my 'social life' at the moment.

[terror-x]

all i can say is bri that money can not buy you happyness or freinds and thats a fact i will not lie i used to be like her a little bit untill all my friends turned on me but now i have looked at life in a differant way and have know tomyself that money DOES NOT = freinds or happyness :)

[Oink]

You are both at formative ages.

Speak to her and sort out your relationship. Good friends are hard to find, so give her another chance.

Oink.