MidnightCalm
08-03-12, 00:45
I have very few friends. In fact I have 1 friend really now, since I got anxiety nobody really wanted to be around me, it's understandable I guess because it's must be boring for people to sit in my house with me because I can't really go anywhere, and they always have to do the travelling but they know my condition stops me.
I have 1 friend who I have had for years who says they are there for me but more often than not she arranges to come and see me and if something better comes up she will lie to me and make an excuse or just drop seeing me and I look forward to seeing her and get myself ready to be in somebodies company (which takes a lot, I get anxious about being with people) and then I just get let down.
I had a massive go at her tonight because she planned to come and see me tonight, we had it arranged and we were talking about what we were going to do and how we would look at housing on the internet and try and sort me onto a housing list and watch our favourite show to watch together and try to understand this benefits form together and then it got to a certain time and said she couldn't come because SHE was feeling panicky and anxious and she just didn't know what was wrong with her, like she felt scared to leave the house but she would come tomorrow morning definitely so I obviously told her it was fine, I understood because I of all people know anxiety!
Next thing I see is that around that time she had been asked to go to the pub so I bring this up and she told me she had said no to them, that she couldn't go.
Now I find out she had gone, so we had an argument and basically what this is all about is do I keep people in my life who obviously aren't there for me just for the sake of not being alone or do I just not have them there and stick up for myself but be alone and probably go crazy =(
Sorry if this makes no sense. Sorry to rant on too.
She does this a lot by the way, makes plans and lets me down, the odd occasion she will keep to them. I told her she should just tell me she doesn't want to see me and I got
"AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SEE OTHER FRIENDS" trying to make me sound possessive or "WELL DON'T BE MY FRIEND THEN AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE NOBODY". "WELL I WON'T COME AROUND TOMORROW AND YOU CAN SIT IN BY YOURSELF".
I have 1 friend who I have had for years who says they are there for me but more often than not she arranges to come and see me and if something better comes up she will lie to me and make an excuse or just drop seeing me and I look forward to seeing her and get myself ready to be in somebodies company (which takes a lot, I get anxious about being with people) and then I just get let down.
I had a massive go at her tonight because she planned to come and see me tonight, we had it arranged and we were talking about what we were going to do and how we would look at housing on the internet and try and sort me onto a housing list and watch our favourite show to watch together and try to understand this benefits form together and then it got to a certain time and said she couldn't come because SHE was feeling panicky and anxious and she just didn't know what was wrong with her, like she felt scared to leave the house but she would come tomorrow morning definitely so I obviously told her it was fine, I understood because I of all people know anxiety!
Next thing I see is that around that time she had been asked to go to the pub so I bring this up and she told me she had said no to them, that she couldn't go.
Now I find out she had gone, so we had an argument and basically what this is all about is do I keep people in my life who obviously aren't there for me just for the sake of not being alone or do I just not have them there and stick up for myself but be alone and probably go crazy =(
Sorry if this makes no sense. Sorry to rant on too.
She does this a lot by the way, makes plans and lets me down, the odd occasion she will keep to them. I told her she should just tell me she doesn't want to see me and I got
"AM I NOT ALLOWED TO SEE OTHER FRIENDS" trying to make me sound possessive or "WELL DON'T BE MY FRIEND THEN AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE NOBODY". "WELL I WON'T COME AROUND TOMORROW AND YOU CAN SIT IN BY YOURSELF".