Can I Ask You .... Re Mental Imagery

[bignik]

Hi

Currently getting CBT at the moment , currently suffering from depression , anxiety and acute stress disorder , following a breakdown after losing my business and 2 traumatic incidents in my life which prior to my becoming ill had managed to leave at back of my mind.

Now I am getting distorted dreams in relation to the traumas and flashbacks, even during the day. I kind of go into what I can only describe as a dream state and bang images pop before my eyes.

Anyway .. I keep trying to mentally visualise other images whilst trying to relax , try to picture a memorable moment or picture a garden , landscape etc and cant manage it , even if I close my eyes just now and try for example picture a circle or a square all I see is blackness.

I dont recall prior to being unwell not being able to visualise things and feel frustrated that something as simple fails me

I know sounds silly , I did have it on my notes for my Pyschologist last visit but I forgot to mention it or if she did say anything I havent retained her comments which sadly at the moment I am having difficulty with my concentration

Apart from bad dreams I dont seem to dream about anything else at the moment , when I awake its as if my brain is chugging away all night, dont know if its the medication , something pyschological my brain is supposed to be doing following my CBT or what ....

and to be honest it scares me a little

Any comments or suggestions would be interesting.

current meds. Citalopram 20 mg Mirtazipine 45 mg , been off diazepam now 14 days

[Elen]

Hi

Not sure if it is any help but I can't picture things in my mind and never have been able to do it.

One therapy session revolved around picturing various scenes and I was totally unable to do it.

I assumed that it was just the way I was wired and never really bothered about it thereafter.

Good luck with the meds.

Elen

[angel wings]

hi
have you got any actual photos of a time or moment or place were you felt really happy i get flashbacks of my dad alot and they are not how i would like to remember him so have photos to help also holiday pics with the family or places i like to go ???

[bignik]

The problem I seem to be having right now is with so much thinking going on, following the dreams and flashbacks, my memory seems to be drawing blanks , even when I was in hospital my I recall my wife talking to me , do you remember this , do you remember that and its as if I cant remember.

for eg , my first born , she telling me when she was born I did this , said that , got a little upset ( which I do remember ) to which she thought I was disappointed wasnt a boy ( I wasnt I was just dumbfounded at the miracle of a child being born for first time )

so anyway this I should remember clear as day , be able to close my eyes and picture but I cant.

since my admission to hospital I have been what I can only describe as emotionally numb ( I often feel if only I could have a cry ). I know something blocking something in my head and when we manage to fathom out what will perhaps sort it out.

I do have the odd moment when I might sing a song which makes me feel a little like my old self , prior to being ill I was very extrovert and happy sort of a chap. 2 days ago I recall me singing hymns which I hadnt for years ( since salvation army 40 years ago as a young child ).

I know they say at CBT its all about rebuilding the blocks that have all fallen down etc

I will need to pull out a picture and stick by bed and see if that helps.


Hi

Not sure if it is any help but I can't picture things in my mind and never have been able to do it.

One therapy session revolved around picturing various scenes and I was totally unable to do it.

I assumed that it was just the way I was wired and never really bothered about it thereafter.

Good luck with the meds.

Elen

from people I ask they dont have a problem doing it , I think what concerns me is the fact I used to be able to and now I seem to can't, a lot of my relaxation cds etc say visualise this or that and it seems so frustrating, I seem to think if I could it would maybe help.

[angel wings]

yes know what you mean think is maybe where the mind is so focused on yourself and problems that it finds it hard to remember things and visualise ...i find it hard to listern to the cds and picture things even went to hypnotherpy and struggled !!!

[daintydi]

I think the photo is a great idea. Keep it with you, for you to look at whenever you need it. I work with kids with complex needs, to get things deep into their subconscious. We tell “stories” but use every sense. We do a trip to Paris, (picture) we eat croissants (taste) drink strong coffee (smell) listen to music (sounds) have a statue of the Eiffel tower (touch). Just do this for your favorite photo. Use all your senses. It may help you to get the image “fixed” into your mind. We do other things at school, apart from listening to the French national anthem, eating croissants and supping coffee! Although most do involve eating and drinking! Hard life! I’m also suffering with anxiety depression and PTSD, and if it’s any help, my memory is dreadful. Short term and long term, both equally bad. Not sure if it’s the meds? I’m on 20mg Citralopram and Propanolol. Hope this helps
Diane x :hugs:

[bignik]

thanks will get the missus to pull one out and give it a whirl. :)