View Full Version : Hi, sleeping pills nightmare!
Hello. New forum for me and I'm not sure where I'm supposed to post. I have been taking vast amounts (up to 9 a night) of zopicon ordered over the internet for nearly a year. I started on just one, quickly got too much tolerance and have increased the dose to a ridiculous degree. Last month my supply was late in arriving and I could not sleep for days, I had sweats, had to take time off work, and felt awful.
When my new delivery finally arrived I was thrilled. Just took 3 that night, slept well, all sweats and night horrors gone.
But it can't go on.
I've taken 9 tonight, still awake (though I know I will sleep when I go to bed, they are reliable!).
I am depressed, I have problems at work, my daughter is in trouble (emoional, getting psych help), my son is a constant worry (17, moody, obviously using drugs, and just had surgery). I'm due in a disciplinary meeting at work- that's not such a big deal, it's hearsay and bitchiness) but every time I've had to go without the zop I have terrible withdrawal.
Now, I have to do something about it- aand that involves admitting to my gp what I've been doing. Am terrified! But I need to sleep, I need to not feel so awful about my life, and I need to support my two very troubled teenagers- oh, and keep my job!
Any advice?
nomorepanic
03-11-11, 01:25
Hi DeeDeeBel
A huge warm welcome to nmp.
You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.
Best wishes
Thank you Nicola X I need to sort myself out- my private addiction is not good! Too much other stuff going on, but I think I need medical help. Just scared to admit to my doc what I've been doing. Really worried about that as I've been ordering them online... bad!
Witchitygrub
03-11-11, 01:39
Hi DeeDeeBel is that stillnox? sounds familiar, can you wean yourself of them?. Anxiety and sleep is horrid huh, do you dream a lot to?.
I'm going to have one last pill then go to bed. Need to be up in 4 and half hours. Any advice, particularly about what the hell I tell me GP, much appreciated. X
---------- Post added at 01:44 ---------- Previous post was at 01:40 ----------
Zopicon, a generic (and possibly dodgy!) generic version of zopiclone. I can't sleep without taking lots. I even went to gp, didn't tell tehm about the zops, but begged for sleeping pills. They gave me temazepam (sp?) but they literally did nothing. I'm scared I've damaged myself permanently!
---------- Post added at 01:47 ---------- Previous post was at 01:44 ----------
Oh, forgot the introduction biy, am female, 42, history of depression (really selling myself eh?), work full time, addicted to zopicon. Great!
Think you'd better be completely honest with your gp............ they might well prescribe you zopiclone and slowly reduce the dose for you until you're off it.
Witchitygrub
03-11-11, 09:06
Dont beat yourself up for needing something?, Panic anxiety i don't care what anyone says is horrible stuff. If i had to take a pill or put up with them, id take a pill, better of the 2 evils huh. ID be honest with GP too, just say how u feel and you still are scared re sleeping and need help, they are there to helps u mostly. Temezepam never did much for me, valium either although i take small doses of it. I keep hoping for the Majic pill too, hi i forgot i am new here too :)
Hi DeeDee,
I have been taking sleeping tablets for years from my gp.
I have tried different sorts and was told off for takin more than I should.
Anyway I was prescribed something else,some times they work-- sometimes not.
Yes I agree. be honest with your gp--see what happens.
I personally would not buy pills over the internet.
It is a real ,and I mean real problem when you are working and you have not slept and you have other things to deal with.
Let us know how you go on
Take Care:hugs:
Just be honest with your GP, tell them exactly what you have been taking, where you got them from and how long you have been on them.
They will tell you off, but you can guarantee they have had other people come in and tell them much worse in the past.
Meds bought online are extremely dangerous, not only are they not controlled in the dosage so you have no real idea how much you are taking, many are either fake, or cut with other things, or completely different drugs than those advertised.
What you need to do is get rid of the tablets, and take what the doctor gives you, and in the doses they tell you to take, you risk seriously damaging yourself or worse if you carry on like you are.
Thanks all! I'm still nervous about telling the doc- I have just been in a 'disciplinary investigation' this morning and feel like I've been through the wringer. I have been told off quite enough I think! I was told that by sometimes looking upset I am disruptive, and that by telling my manager that I had not had much sleep (once!) I was also being disruptive, that if I wasn't fit for work I shouldn't be there and as they know I saw a counsellor for a while, I am obviously very stressed, so should take responsibility for myself and not burden other people! Me and my manager used to be friends, so we told each other lots of things! And they are now using it against me. So, getting at least a couple of hours decent sleep is quite important really! I feel like crying, but I can't because it's 'disruptive'! God, I feel like screaming but I'm stuck at this bloody desk for 3 more hours.
Dee dee,
please don't be nervous about telling doc your problems.
I have been asked many a time if i would like to go out the back way because
I have cried so much.
Just say how desperate you have been --to do what you did--- taking the meds.
You need help thats for sure.
No disrespect, but I have found female gps are more sympathetic.
Keep in touch
Thank you all for advice and kind words. Kind of messed up after the work thing today- finding it hard to switch off, and being kicked when you're down, especially when you've bloody told the kicker you're a bit down, is really horrible. I seem to be permanently on the verge of tears- feel pathetic and useless. And now my job (which I'm bloody good at, best in our team according to taget stats) is under threat. Hardly conducive to getting a decent sleep without the pills. Although I've usually had about 3 by this point in the evening and haven't had my first yet. Booked tomorrow off work so can lie in- I had a feeling the 'investigation' (ffs, what company has investigations into their employees??) was going to be traumatic so pre-booked Friday off. I may be a bit frazzled but I'm not stupid!
Thanks all, it's been nice to be able to off-load a bit. Will see how it goes with the doc- still not sure whether I can face owning up to the zops.
First of all, well done for posting this. You have admitted to other people and yourself that you have an addiction. You are not the first person to become addicted to zopiclone and you won't be the last. You NEED to tell your doctor exactly how much you have been taking. He will have heard it before from other patients, sleeping tablets, tranqilisers, painkillers.... it is easily done. When you first started taking it you didn't intend to become addicted. DON'T stop taking it suddenly, A - you need to sleep and B - it can be dangerous. BUT, you can get off them. You doctor will either refer to an addiction specialist or devise a safe withdrawal programme for you to follow. I was on 7.5mg zopiclone every night for just under a year, I got it down to 3.75mg every night with the odd 7.5mg a night, now I'm down to 3.75mg 3-4 nights a week. I know how quickly your body builds up a tolerance to these drugs.
You will get there, don't worry and don't be afraid to ask for as much help and support as you can from whatever sources you can.
:hugs:Haz. x
First of all, well done for posting this. You have admitted to other people and yourself that you have an addiction. You are not the first person to become addicted to zopiclone and you won't be the last. You NEED to tell your doctor exactly how much you have been taking. He will have heard it before from other patients, sleeping tablets, tranqilisers, painkillers.... it is easily done. When you first started taking it you didn't intend to become addicted. DON'T stop taking it suddenly, A - you need to sleep and B - it can be dangerous. BUT, you can get off them. You doctor will either refer to an addiction specialist or devise a safe withdrawal programme for you to follow. I was on 7.5mg zopiclone every night for just under a year, I got it down to 3.75mg every night with the odd 7.5mg a night, now I'm down to 3.75mg 3-4 nights a week. I know how quickly your body builds up a tolerance to these drugs.
You will get there, don't worry and don't be afraid to ask for as much help and support as you can from whatever sources you can.
:hugs:Haz. x
Thanks- it's just embarressing for a woman of my age to be ordering pills from China! I've only taken 4 tonight, usually take 8 or 9. I didn't even know what they were when I first ordered them- it was just an on-line pharmacy, they sounded good so I got some. Now I'm taking loads- but it's not addressing my anxiety or depression in the day time or the fact I can't cope with the work situation (though my standard of work is good, weird eh?), and I have to support my daughter who is very messed up and this secret addiction seems to be adding to things. Because it's secret! My husband doesn't know, I just start taking them (usually) around 9 pm, and keep on until I think I can sleep. What a mess! The thing is, the 4 I've taken aren't cutting it, and I can just take another two because they're in my handbag next to me, and I might have to so I can sleep- so bloody weak!
As you may have noticed, I'm joining in with the kick me party- if my boss and kids don't bring me to breaking point I can always slag myself off and add to it- special! :blush:
Hi, I'm guessing the pills you are getting off the internet aren't as strong as the zopiclone you would get from the doctor. You need to break this cycle NOW, you've faced the first step, you can face the doctor too. You're obviously having a pretty bad time just now between one thing and another so please see you doc and get the help you need. It takes a bigger person to admit their mistakes and try to rectify them than just burying their head in the sand.
You can do it! You'll feel so much better once everything is out in the open. You've nothing to be ashamed of. You just need some help.
Take care.
Hazel.x
If you are getting them from china, the chances are they arent zoplicone, whatever they are though, you are addicted to them, and need to stop taking them and sort it out before you do any lasting damage
Anxious_gal
04-11-11, 19:58
You do know that your body needs to relearn how to sleep without pills .
Addiction crosses ALL boundaries , rich , poor , black , white , police , teachers etc . . .
You need to tell your doctor .
All ask for a toxic screen , you might be poisioning yourself , China does not have good health standards and tones of Pills that are legal there are pretty much illegal everywhere else.
Sure they had led in babies milk and in kids toys .
I don't mean to scare you, but you need a wake up call.
The reality is overwhelming but focus on getting better :)
---------- Post added at 19:58 ---------- Previous post was at 19:54 ----------
Also bring the pills to your doctor so you can get the ingredients tested,
Street drugs are often cut with things to bulk them up and to make more profit .
Hi. I know its awful but you must go to the docs and tell them whats happening. They will help you for sure and you need help as you have lots going on at the moment. I have just been to the doctors and cried my eyes out in front of him and couldnt talk but as mentioned they have seen it all before and a lot worse. If you are worried about what to say, just write it all down on a piece of paper and show it to him/her and take it from there. You need to tell them all of whats been going on at home and at work (disgraceful by the way the way you have been treated). The sooner you go the sooner you can start to get out of this. Good luck.
I think I'm going to have to be honest- I hadn't realised they may be weaker. Might explain me taking 8 or 9 to get to sleep. I think my honesty levels are going to depend on the GP- if I feel they're going to lay into me I might leave it! Can't take anymore criticism at the mo!
I get the result into my 'inevestigation' on Monday. If they're good (hardy har har, my manager has a personal vendetta!) then I'll be straight with docs. Regardless, I need andti-d's as to day I just crumbled and my poor husband was so kind, but I coudn't even communicate, was shaking, felt sick, coudln't eat at all- physical manifestations of extreem stress, jst horrible. Nit sure why he puts up with these episodes really. Am hoping will be a bit more mormal tomorrow- but then I have to face work Monday! I'd quie like to just sleep and not wake up- problem solved! But I have troubled kids and can't do that.
Your words (all of you!) have been so wonderful, and full of good advice. I appreciate it massively XX
Update to anyone reading- my manager didn't give me any letter or indication about the 'investigation' today- just keeping me hanging, so horrible. Screw them.
I went to the gp, didn't admit the zops, but diagnosed (shock horror) with anxiety disorder and depression brought on by extreme stress. prescription for (legal!) zopiclone and Mirtazapine. I'm going to cut down on the zops myself, pray the mirtazapine helps and keep on trying to get through the days.
The doc was amazing- when I told her what's been happening she said I was actually coping very well, I should be lying in a ball in the corner now! She wanted to sign me off, but I explained that my work is completely unsympathetic so she said she will try to get me through it medically- she was so human and kind, I boo'd like a baby.
Will pick up prescription tomorrow, and see how it goes.
Thank you to all of you for all your wonderful advice and help XX
Well Done! But you know you should have admitted to the Zops! It could be dangerous to take more than one zop along with the mirtazipine. I've never taken mirt but I've heard it can make you feel sleepy especially in the beginning. It's not too late to phone her tomorrow, I'm sure she will be just as sympathetic and grateful to you for owning up. Please think about it. You're doing so well I would hate to see you have an adverse reaction from taking more zop than the doctor has prescribed.
:bighug1:x
:blush:
Well Done! But you know you should have admitted to the Zops! It could be dangerous to take more than one zop along with the mirtazipine. I've never taken mirt but I've heard it can make you feel sleepy especially in the beginning. It's not too late to phone her tomorrow, I'm sure she will be just as sympathetic and grateful to you for owning up. Please think about it. You're doing so well I would hate to see you have an adverse reaction from taking more zop than the doctor has prescribed.
:bighug1:x
I know I know! I was going to try taking the prescribed anti-d with the one prescribed (legit) zopiclone when I get my prescription tomorrow. I'm down to 4 of the fakes, and as other posters have said they're not the real deal anyway. She prescribed me zopiclone, but real ones, so maybe it will be ok. If not I'll have to rethink. I do feel bad about chickening out but I just needed help today, and could not face being told off- ffs, I sound like a 12 year old! I'm not proud of chickening out, but I don't think my mental health (very fragile at the mo) could taking another battering.
I know it's a mess, but at least it's a start!
I'm tring to see myself positively, not as a complete **** up which is how I feel most of the time.
Ach, not good enough! I know, I really do know!
:blush:
Anxious_gal
08-11-11, 00:13
well done on getting help and admitting your problem :) I know there is a lot of personal shame that goes along with addiction.
well done on getting help and admitting your problem :) I know there is a lot of personal shame that goes along with addiction.
Thank you! I'm trying to get better, but I'm not sure battering myself about my mistake is helpful right now. I am trying to lower the dose myself- a bit of self responsibility I guess! I don't know- I know it was wrong but I am trying to get netter. X
Well done on seeing your doctor:) I was addicted to Nitrazepam for years and years, was eventually able to be weaned off them a few years ago - something I thought I could NEVER do. Try not to beat yourself up too much - I agree with mishel re: personal shame etc. It's good that you realise you need help and went out and asked for some support. Gawd - I had some awful times with my then-teenage daughter years ago and thought I was going mad. But, all's wel with her now.
Best of luck.
Wendy :hugs:
nicola1980
08-11-11, 06:26
well done for seeing ur doc that must have taken some courage, yeah u didn't admit ur addiction but u made the first step and should be proud of yourself :) how did u get on with the 'real' zops last night? xx
:blush:
I know I know! I was going to try taking the prescribed anti-d with the one prescribed (legit) zopiclone when I get my prescription tomorrow. I'm down to 4 of the fakes, and as other posters have said they're not the real deal anyway. She prescribed me zopiclone, but real ones, so maybe it will be ok. If not I'll have to rethink. I do feel bad about chickening out but I just needed help today, and could not face being told off- ffs, I sound like a 12 year old! I'm not proud of chickening out, but I don't think my mental health (very fragile at the mo) could taking another battering.
I know it's a mess, but at least it's a start!
I'm tring to see myself positively, not as a complete **** up which is how I feel most of the time.
Ach, not good enough! I know, I really do know!
:blush:
Good Luck and keep us posted with your progress. x:flowers:
Hi all. I've had 2 decent night's sleep with the mirtazapine and real zops, still very anxious and a bit down but I think just asking for help has been therapeutic. I took today off (migraine) and just slept until early afternoon. I woke up feeling a bit better about myself- a bit of a battery re-charge! Down to two China zops a night, going to try just one tonight and see how that goes. Fingers crossed. Oh, and still no letter about the 'investigation'- heartless really, to put someone under such intense scrutiny and pressure then just leave them hanging, not knowing what is going on. Yesterday at work every time my manager or her manager (the big boss!) walked anywhere near me I just tensed up, thinking are they going to tell take me into a meeting room and rip me to shreds again. It's a very uncomfortable situation!
Hi Dee Dee,
So glad for you that you are sorting your meds out.
Keep in touch.
Lots :hugs::hugs::hugs:
Hi all. I've had 2 decent night's sleep with the mirtazapine and real zops, still very anxious and a bit down but I think just asking for help has been therapeutic. I took today off (migraine) and just slept until early afternoon. I woke up feeling a bit better about myself- a bit of a battery re-charge! Down to two China zops a night, going to try just one tonight and see how that goes. Fingers crossed. Oh, and still no letter about the 'investigation'- heartless really, to put someone under such intense scrutiny and pressure then just leave them hanging, not knowing what is going on. Yesterday at work every time my manager or her manager (the big boss!) walked anywhere near me I just tensed up, thinking are they going to tell take me into a meeting room and rip me to shreds again. It's a very uncomfortable situation!
Glad you're feeling a bit better. Sometimes you need a "duvet day" to recharge your batteries. I try to do this once a week if I can to keep my stress levels down. Are you just taking one "real zop" 7.5mg? Hope you get a good sleep tonight. Try not to worry about work (although I know it's hard cos you need the wages!) but your health is more important.
Take care. :hugs:x
Thank you all. I definitely needed a Dee day- ste work thing, the sleeping pills thing, my daughters issues- it's kind of left me a bit of a mess! XX
Yet, you posted good advice on another thread re: zopiclone. So now you are using your personal experience to help others.
Don't be so hard on yourself! :hugs:x
Yet, you posted good advice on another thread re: zopiclone. So now you are using your personal experience to help others.
Don't be so hard on yourself! :hugs:x
Thanks! I'm weaning myself off- down to two a night, but I think the mirtazapine has helped. And hey, guess what- my manager left early today so I'm still in limbo workwise! ruuuude. Hoping mirtazapine will lift my mood soon- though it's only been 3 nights! Work today was horrible, I'd made a dcision to leave it late asking if I could find out what their next step is, i.e.after 4pm. Then my bloody manager waltzed off at 4 for an appointment.
So, I get another weekend fo not knowing my work status- what fun!
Hi DeeDee,
How's things with you? A bit better I hope?
:hugs: x
Err, not really- am now facing a disciplinary hearing at work! Could not face going in today, am shaking and very distressed, has set me back. They know how vulnerable I am and are going for the jugular while I'm at my lowest. They scheduled the meeeting with 24 hours notice, last thing on Tuesday they told me, meeting for first thing tomorrow. Am now hiding at home shaking! managed to get them to postpone the meeting but they won't tell me the 'evidence' as they are still gathering it- all sounds like a personal vendetta/witch-hunt to me. I was doing ok until they told me yesterday that my manager is taking this as far as she can. It has made work a place I just can't be.
Oh that's not good. Sorry to hear that. Can you not get a doctor's line and stay off sick. I think most companies have to tread carefully when they are dealing with people who are "vulnerable". Have you worked there long?
x
A year and a half. Am trying to stick up for myself, but that is taken as bad attitude so is catch 22.
So under two years then? Mmm, maybe you would be better off out of there if it's causing you so much grief? Although I don't imagine you feel up to looking for another job right now. Have you had a written warning? I would just go off on the sick if I was you. Serves them right for treating you like **** and you're genuinely ill anyway. I'm sure your Doc would give you a sick line. Your health is more important.
Well, good luck anyway. :hugs:
Thanks- not sure what to do to be honest. I need the job until I can get another one. Though that's going to be difficult if am on a disciplinary as won't get a bloody reference! Dealing with anxiety and depression, with this on top, it's all a bit much really. Kind of had enough now.
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