Hello all,
Some of you might remember me from back in 2014/2015. I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who spent time reassuring me, giving advice and directing me to different link to help. People like Terry, Fishmanpa, Nicola and many more long timers of the site the advice and support you have gave me is invaluable.
My Story,
In around 2014, I was approached by police regarding historical abuse. I won't go into detail but I am care experienced and was very seriously abused sexually every weekend while living in care for a long time. Anyway that sparked a lot of issues for me. From worrying about my health, lots of physical symptoms, Insomnia, which sadly led into a month of psychosis due to sleep deprivation. I lost too much weight and was very unhealthy. I developed panic attacks, agoraphobia, OCD and dissociation. Till around about a year ago its been a horrendous time. I was essentially housebound and unable to work I was then diagnosed in 2019 with a genetic progressive connective tissue disorder. I am however grateful that my pains and swelling and other health problems had an explanation. I was also formally diagnosed with CPTSD in 2019 as well.
Since about October 2021 though I am happy to say I am much better than I had been the 5 years previous. I am now sleeping "normal" most of the time, I no longer have panic attacks. My depersonalization has went away, I am just left with Derelization 24/7 but I am in a better headspace that I don't let it affect me anymore or scare me. I am in therapy and have been for a while now and really challenging my obsessive thoughts and really challenging my OCD ie. trying new foods and products and putting myself in positions that make me anxious to show that my OCD thoughts are just thoughts and not real.
My agoraphobia is still very strong but.. I have been out a lot more with someone and even managed to go shopping in B&M for an hour and not run out or a have a panic attack and just let myself ride the anxiety wave. I am challenging my obsessive thoughts and trying to discredit them and or distract myself.
I am due to move back to my hometown in the next couple of months and hoping that it will be a fresh start for me and I can continue working on gaining my confidence and independence back.
I am happy to answer any questions anyone might have.
Thanks All
