Gay OCD panic feeling

I'm 33, straight woman, always had multi crushes throughout life on males, many boyfs until my early 30s when I just no longer had interest in dating and enjoyed single life. My OCD is now convicing myself that I'm gay or into women and that's why I'm not dating anyone. I have never had an irl crush on a woman unless my OCD has flared and then I panic and feel dread and test myself. Several times I've come to conclusion it isn't for me but then the OCD theme comes back and I get scared to test incase I like it. I have always admired beautiful women but not in same way I would a hot man.